Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
