at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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