It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
