Do vagina's smell?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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