google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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