I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Randomize
