So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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