Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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