i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
