stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
