she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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