where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
