And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
