I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize