Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
