I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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