I'm gonna have a badass scar
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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