SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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