I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
