I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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