i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
