after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
