I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
