dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
