Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
