i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
