we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
