WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
