We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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