ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize