I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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