i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
