my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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