i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
