if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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