office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
