There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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