Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
