So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
