He uses pillows to masturbate.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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