took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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