Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
