Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
