Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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