It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
