come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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