Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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