dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
