I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
