If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
