names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
