I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
