whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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