There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
