if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
