The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize