You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
