I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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