I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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