i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
