I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize