There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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