Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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