Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Four minutes until I can fart!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Randomize
