Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
